I have mixed states a lot. Or I cycle so fast I can't tell what's up from down any more.

How I feel is that my mind is racing so fast I can't hold on to my thoughts barely at all. I am extremely irritable and aggitated. I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel horrible, both kind of physical and mental feeligns. Like my arms are too heavy, my brain is all foggy, I can't focus on anything. I get so restless it feels like my bones are trying to jump out of my skin. I talk and talk and can't shut up. If I have an episode it usually consists of screaming in rage, crying my eyes out, and then if I don't get a proper calm down, I end up attacking myself... which I am not proud of but it's true.

I hate it.