Quote:
Originally Posted by paradiso2340
Hi All,
So I have been struggling with OCD for years which became mostly the obsessional form in that I performed all sorts of rituals and checks in my mind so that things felt "right." I had a really bad situation happen about three months ago in which I feel like I have lost my sense of self or who I thought I was. I have been seeing a psychologist and we still have a lot of discovering to do, but in this time I have questioned whether or not I have been experiencing some form of dissociation as well. I have this constant sense of "watching" my thoughts as well as my as my actions and behaviors. I also feel like I am battling this presence 24/7 sometimes I can't help but engage with it, other times I try to just keep it there and accept it for what it is but it never seems to go away. Now, I don't feel like I am watching myself from the outside, but rather from the inside almost like I have two brains. I also know that this is all me and not some outside voice, but this presence itself keeps telling me negative things and I believe it because I know this is all coming from me. I also seem to have these thoughts that bring memories of myself to confirm the negative feelings and ideas about myself. I still feel like me, but this negative persona feels like it has taken away my ability to experience life as I use to and to think as I did. Sometimes I don't know if I am just making this all up. In fact, I think my obsession with this is what has imprinted it into my psyche. Any insights or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.  |
We cant tell you whether you have a dissociative disorder or not but we can tell you what jumps out in your post....
here in New York, which is in the USA being able to "watch" thoughts is not a dissociative symptom.. here its considered a psychotic symptom, I have had it happen and for me it came about for two reasons....using over the counter vitamins and supplements that I was not prescribed and in doses that my doctor did not prescribe.... I was also having memory problems like not knowing who I was where I was and many other things......
a body is made up of many vitamins, minerals, nutrients and chemicals that work together. you throw off that carefully balanced list of chemicals, nutrients, vitamins and minerals and all kinds of things can happen including things like psychotic episodes of things like auditory and visual hallucinations.
I went back in your posts and see that you are using 5HTP. here in New York doctors are warning against using this over the counter supplement because of things like heightened anxiety/ hallucinations/ psychotic thoughts/abnormal behavior changes.....
my suggestion let your psychiatrist know you are using this and discuss whether it is causing your problems you posted here and whether you need the type of chemicals in this supplemental drug and work with your psychiatrist to find the right dosage.
the other reason this symptom happened to me was because I was in a room where someone was smoking a joint. my body couldnt handle even the second hand smoke and caused me to have psychotic symptoms.