(((iota))),

I understand you need to get the anger out with this, and I can't blame you about that. Yes, I understand how it feels like other people do terrible things and get away with it, believe me, my neighbor was just "lazy and careless" and he caused so much damage to my life because of it. It wasn't a case of this dog just breaking free or a one time deal, he knew his system was down and that dog was running on my property so he let it out at night while I was sleeping so I would not notice. I am battling PTSD, dealing with so much debt and loss of business because my animals were destroyed, yet he gets off while I battle with his homeowners insurance company. Yeah, I know all about seething anger. And I can say the same about many times I was hurt and still got up and tried, over and over. I dealt with things that I never deserved, things that were "other peoples problems" not mine. I can't blame you for feeling the way you do. I was your age when I lost years of hard work, so much hard work and things I could not replace.

But, ((iota)), all this anger you are developing is not going to help you, infact it is going to hurt you. I wish I could wave a wand and make it go away, but something bad happened and now you are going to have to take time to figure out what you can do with the help of an attorney.

Remember, you will be dealing with patients who are struggling like you are now, you wanted to be a T right? Well, how would you talk to someone like you? How would you help someone like you dealing with a situation like this? You already know what aggrivates PTSD, how would you guide them because that is what your job would be?

((iota))) While you did face some real challenges in your life, you got up and picked yourself up and fought back again. Do you know what that means? That means you are a strong person iota, so you "do" have it in you and you have to find your way to tap on that "strong part of you again" because you have been a "survivior" and yeah, it is hard, and yeah, there are alot of crappy people in the world that do get away with bad things. Well, now you are facing another challenge, is it fair? No. But you have no choice but to forge forward, and you "can" do that. Is it easy? No it's not, but you should not be chosing to let this aggrivate your PTSD, it isn't not good for your brain. You need to chose to fight your way again.

It doesn't sound like you have heard back fromt the attorneys yet. You have to be patient for that and you may need to ask a few more attornies. I believe you about that drug, there are "known" side effects that are very troubling, so you are not making this up. So, you have to be strong and find out what you can do. And, you have to talk yourself out of allowing you to let this spirial you down where it aggrivates the PTSD. The one that will hurt is you, you can't let that happen.

Yes, you are right you have an education and you were a professor at Berkley which is a very good school. You have to also look at the things you "do" have that are very positive.

(( Big encouraging Hugs)))