Bluefish, you are no doubt very depressed. I suggest that you go back to another doctor and try some other treatments. Yes, there are side effects to meds and some don't work, but as you can see, your depression is not only affecting the quality of your personal life, but it is also affecting your relationship with your husband and your future plans together. If you can get that problem dealt with, then these other problems will go away.

You are not the only person who can't get his/her loved ones to understand that you can't help the way you are. You aren't just being lazy.

How about going back into treatment then? And ask your husband if he could please read about depression and even go into a session of therapy with you, if that's allowed?

Please keep us informed!