Family, especially older adults from "that" generation are very suspicious and secretive. They also don't understand the concept of going to someone who is trained in helping with emotions. They see the emotional aspect of our lives as controllable and separate from the physical. I think ignorance plays a big part of this, unfortunately.

I'm sorry you can't confide in her, as you would like to be able to. The definition of "mom" seems to imply you should be able to do that. However, you are NOT alone by any stretch of the imagination.

You have to just treat her like you would any other person in your life, and not share your therapy efforts and sessions. You wouldn't share much with a coworker would you? Except how your T helped you realize this and that...

If you tried to share with her, then you would be trying to perform therapy with her, too, as you would have to begin to explain why you feel the way you do and why the family did such and such and why SHE didn't do what you needed her to do. Oh my! So involved! And few of us are up to that effort, especially when we ourselves are in therapy!

How could she understand? She won't. She is responsible in some ways, I'm sure, for you needing therapy. Why should YOU be the one to lower the boom? Nah, don't do it.

You just have to avoid the topic. If something should be said by you by accident, then attribute it to a good friend who is having trouble with her family??? You are you own best friend, btw

It's heartbreaking to not be able to share your turmoil. I think everyone with family dynamics such as yours WISH they could open their hearts and be understood and finally "accepted" and apologized to and all that. Unfortunately, if you try that, usually you only come away more hurt than ever, and angry with yourself for believing it would happen.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Fortunately, by the time you have worked through the family issues in therapy and ready to confront, you might not need to, as you will be so far beyond their understanding! Take care.