Take this question to your therapist. Usually, SI is something that is done to purposely hurt yourself, or punish yourself. That being said, it concerns me that your mind is thinking about SI.

You don't want to start SI because it can get out of control very quickly and is just a symptom of a deeper problem. Once you start the behavior, it can be extrememly hard to stop. If you can catch it now, you may be able to escape a lot of trouble.

Please let us know how things went and whether you are ok or not. Don't ever feel that you can't come.

Sam2