I went to another meeting today and K (other pwbpd) was not there today.

Immediately I had bad thoughts: "he thinks you want to hook up with him and now he's avoiding you". When for g*d's sake I was as space-giving as can be. I was respectful to him. I did not hook up with him. He was friendly to me, too. But we were not *that* friendly! lol

I told Ani, of course, how I was feeling and of course, he said, "Oh, Carol! There it is again! Your bad voice. Of course you don't wanna hook up with K! You are just fine! You acted perfectly okay with him! Come on already! There it is again!"

But maybe I need to go to women's meeting only.

I can't keep running from this meeting, though. Since I went back, I have been feeling better and others there have been more attentive toward me. I am trying to give off a more confident vibe.

G*d knows that K was taking a day off or doing something somewhere else.

G*d I hate that d**n voice!

It's so hurtful and hateful and destructive.

Today I chose not to listen to it.

Carol