I thought having a diagnosis would help. It helped me only in the way that my suspicions of something being wrong we're true. It hurt me in that now I sometimes excuse my behavior because "I can't help it". Also, I fear telling anyone. I told my mom and husband but that's it. Before, telling people like my inlaws, that I had anxiety and had some trouble with depression was easy. It was /is normal. Now I just feel crazy. The diagnosis was painful for me, at best. I feel more broken than ever. People who want the diagnosis are ok with it because they not really have to live with the destruction it causes. They can be all " yeah, I'm bipolar" and because its not true they can feel comfortable in the lie. While those of us with it, are afraid because we know its true and there's no getting away from it.

At least that's how I see it.