Quote:
Originally Posted by Kate1955
Going through a similar thing Adam but have been married nearly thirty years. Good to get out now while you have a good chance of having a better relationship with someone in future. As the wife of someone who tried to commit suicide though...I do not feel it is a spouse's role to keep said spouse safe. It's for the person with the suicidal ideation etc to take those thoughts to trained therapists etc. I think it puts an unhealthy strain on the relationship. And all our individual therapists agree.
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I think you are right. I got a therapist this week I started talking to. I regret telling my wife about my depression. I think it overwhelmed her and she couldn't help me. I am going to work on me before I start another releationship. I feel as if I ruined this one. I feel like if I would have dealt with this ten years ago I would have been better off.
I'm not looking for person to cure me of suicidal ideation. I know that has to be done with a trained professional. What I want is someone I can rely on when I am in crisis to help me not do anything rash. I have almost no support in my life. I masked me depression from everyone because I feared they wouldn't accept me or would judge me for feeling this way. I have a lot of shame for having depression. Everytime I have reached out for help it has ended badly for me.
Less than two months reaching out to my wife and we are about to seperate. My family made me feel horible in my teens when I reached out to them. I was laid off from my job a month after I took a week off to seek help.
I tried to bury it within myself and I ended up withdrawing and overworking myself. I feel as if I pushed my wife away from me with that. It feels like an unruly burden to carry and I have been unable to properly deal with it.