give yourself a break.

Hey, Things that happen young cut deepest; it takes a long time to know them(especially if they begin pre-verbal) and a lifetime to journey through----30yrs heck, I've got stuff that still rattles around, even things I've never spoken of that go back more than 50 years; hang in there; there are no tidy Hollywood or sanitized fairy tale endings... All we can do is be here for each other and you can be here too. You do matter. As much as any other person in this world. I can relate to the not being able to leave as your work isn't done---you learn it never is done. (I am just thinking that I felt, when my children were very young, that I had to decide whether to "stay" or "go", so they would not remember something terrible as one of "those" times--then there were some really good times, and bad times, and now they are grown and flown; but recently my son hit a hard patch and he is here again for a while...and it is okay...and there is the grandchild, so wonderful, lucky in spite of myself and yet still a mess in so many ways...now "they" (the ones that hurt, and were hurting) are gone, and I miss the voices...especially the voices for some reason...I can't call them or speak to them, I can't write to them...Life is short enough...and,in the end I know it is the small things, the small pleasures, that matter most...that help the most...that moment of sunlight is worth all the pain. Today, at least, I know that.