Advice... it is good you recognise you have an unhealthy relationship with food. I recomend seeing a therapist if you haven't and pay attention to what you feel when you binge.

It sounds like you want to change stuff about your life. A good place to start is with thoughts. Let's say in your head you think "i am stupid" turn it around make it positive and say " i am smart because i know how to blank and not many people do" that will help you gain more self esteem which is something everyone can use.

In order to stop yourself from weighing could you lock the scale up? If that freaks you out as it would have me when i had an ED. Then maybe try weighing just once a day and set goal for three times a week. Then twice a week.

Success is all about little goals. PM if you want!