Hi Bluefish,

Payne is very smart and gives great advice. I can tell you are very caring, otherwise you wouldnt feel the burden of what is happening in your life and I wish your husband could see that too.

To share a personal story, when I was younger, I went to my therapist at the time and explained how badly I was feeling in my situation. It involved my work life. After spilling my guts and telling her everything I waited for her answer. She simply said "it sounds like your environment is no longer supporting you."

Well, that should have been easy, just change jobs and magically everything would get better, except, when I did that, things didnt get better. I took the same set of problems with myself over to the next job and it just started all over again.

The depression your feeling is a challenge to you that something in your life or attitude about life needs to change. Its hard feeling optimistic when circumstances seem to outweigh your ability to overcome. If you cant change your circumstances right now, then changing your attitude about your circumstances is the next best thing you can do.

Its hard overcoming your husbands attitude and hopefully Paynes' suggestion helps in that your husband can see a little better whats happening for you. I hope that reminding him the vows 'for better or worse' apply here but in some cases, the 'worse' is more than people can overcome. I just hope he can.

If he cant, you need to get in a place emotionally and mentally that without support you cant tolerate what is happening and then you need to find that support even tho it might be separate from the marriage and it may even mean getting on thru life without the marriage. I never advise breakups easily but if marriage is whats bringing you down and you're not getting the help you need from within the marriage, sometimes its best to walk away, mark one up for lesson learned.

I hope husband can get on the same page with you.