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Old Mar 08, 2013, 08:09 AM
Kate1955 Kate1955 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by adam_k View Post
I think you are right. I got a therapist this week I started talking to. I regret telling my wife about my depression. I think it overwhelmed her and she couldn't help me. I am going to work on me before I start another releationship. I feel as if I ruined this one. I feel like if I would have dealt with this ten years ago I would have been better off.

I'm not looking for person to cure me of suicidal ideation. I know that has to be done with a trained professional. What I want is someone I can rely on when I am in crisis to help me not do anything rash. I have almost no support in my life. I masked me depression from everyone because I feared they wouldn't accept me or would judge me for feeling this way. I have a lot of shame for having depression. Everytime I have reached out for help it has ended badly for me.

Less than two months reaching out to my wife and we are about to seperate. My family made me feel horible in my teens when I reached out to them. I was laid off from my job a month after I took a week off to seek help.

I tried to bury it within myself and I ended up withdrawing and overworking myself. I feel as if I pushed my wife away from me with that. It feels like an unruly burden to carry and I have been unable to properly deal with it.
It's so awful to have no support Adam..I know my family are no support nor are my husbands. My son and I luckily have good friendships we have nurtured over the years and they are invaluable now,

This is going to be a difficult time for you...as I am going through it too let us keep in touch. Your depression is nothing to e ashamed of...it annoys me that diabetes etc is acceptable but depression is often hidden.

Do you have things you like to do...go to movies, sports, have coffees, book clubs etc? If so can you start spoiling yourself with some of these things?

I noticed with my husband he went off everything he loved and enjoyed before the suicide because of depression...I think it's so good to have an outlet....he goes walking and trekking in national parks again now for exercise but he used to go for the challenge!

Anyway Adam...let me know how you are going ...please consider me your friend...although I have to get in line with a lot of the older ladies here!!!