Honestly I am very scared of him , and the way he acts... the best part of the day is when he gets out of the house , and the I seem to get more & more panicky about the anticiapation of when he comes back and what type of mood he is in .... after hearing his rants for so many years, I kind of begin believing what he says ! No wonder my own issues are getting out of hand... all I want truly is to feel safe, wanted and loved but I am now so very confused I can't think straight anymore Thankfully I have the PC pals to hear me out He is also jeleous of the PC support I have....

The comment below... came about, after he had totally and completely raged at me for two hours plus... I am crying and this was his sick loving way to comfort me & apologize.. ie. we should beging planning our future backwards ie. from the end.. because in his mind we should go together. Thanks everyone for listening

...his language about wanting to die together and what all sincerely and deeply bothers me...that's not language used by someone who's stable. What are you supposed to do if he decides that time is sooner than you wish