I grew up in a very tight cultural centric family. We never really shared out feelings outright. We immigrated here from Europe at a young age and my father worked 16 hours a week to provide for the family. I learned a strong work ethic and dedication to family at a young age. I love helping people and put others infront of my feelings.

I met my wife when I was 21 and we married after I graduated college and started working. I was 25 and she was 22. We have been married now for 20 years and have two great boys.

She was raised in the same cultural centric family but emotional expression was key to their communication approach. She was raised thinking that she should marry a nice boy who would love and take of the family.

We did everything by the book. Married, waited 5 years to try for children to give ourselves enough time to get to know each other. She stopped working fulltime to be a stay at home mom and i continued my career as the provider.

Child 1 came and 3 years later, child 2. About this time my wife started her self exploration of what was missing in her life. Was she truly meant for something else. For several years this was going on w/o me knowing it. She never really told me about it and frankly, I was clueless to any signs. Remember emotional sharing and expression was not something my family did (or still does to be honest).

Over the last 8 years, my relationship with my wife as drifted from lovers to one of a brother & sister relationship. We never argue, we run the house extremely well together and take care of the boys. She has started singing in a band which has been her dream and I have supported her 100% and I am her biggest fan.

So you ask, what's the problem? Well she has expressed that what's missing in her life is an emotional connection we me. I don't open up and share me with her, that I don't engage with her unless she starts the emotional conversations. She feels empty and like she's living a fake life.

I have tried therapy, single and couples therapy. At the end of the day, what she needs from me doesn't appear something that I can provide her. I express myself and love through physical acts of doing and caring. I have never been one to open up and share and cry and let others in. I resolve things internally when needed.

It's to a point now where I feel as if I don't have any emotions whatsoever. I feel apathetic at times towards the relationship though I do love my wife and I tell her that. However, she doesn't love me from an emotional perspectvie but loves me as the person who cares for her, provides for her and the boys and supports her in all she does.

I'm confused and don't know how to react to what's she's asking. We have had talks where if she was able to live on her own and provide for herself she would probably want a divorce. However, she feels trapped because she doesn't really have a career she can fall back. She has an interior design degree but didn't like doing that the first 5 years of our marriage before kids. During her self discovery these passed few years she went back to school to be a hairstylist to have some flexibility around the kids schedules but after shoulder surgery that's not a career that support her injury.

I fear that we are headed for a divorce unless I can figure out a way to communicate and connect with her again on an emotional level that feels totally unnatural to me. I'm lost !!!

Any ideas or support would be helpful.