Earlier this week, I realised I think I have complex PTSD (because of my childhood and my ex). It felt like this awful new realisation. I told my husband, who said it made sense. I wanted to tell my best friend but she's busy moving house. I told my T in session and he didn't really say anything as he was listening while I rambled about a bunch of stuff.

Today I suddenly remembered that, soon after starting therapy, I realised I had PTSD. I told my best friend. I mentioned it to my T. It felt like this awful new realisation.

And then I forgot, or hid the knowledge from myself, and had the realisation all over again. This has scared the absolute heck out of me. It's like my mind is in bits. Maybe this is why I keep wanting to write lists of things to discuss in T. I'm so freaked out that I just 'forgot' this, like my mind is just in fragments.