Quote:
Originally Posted by riotgrrrl
First of all, on your list of options. Where does it say that his needs are OTT? He's a sex addict. You're not talking about a normal, run of the mill relationship here and shouldn't be treated that way.
And yes, he was considerate to her the day before. But was this one day? And wasn't the consideration good points completely undone when he told her that he needed her for 2 weeks for sex every night? And you choice of words 'Take pity on him', for what? For wanting a night off sex? From no longer agreeing to be his sex object and bowing down to the not inconsiderable pressure he puts on her? I am again, left flabbergasted by what you think, and most certainly by your choice of words.
I do not see how you can fail to understand that this is no way to treat his wife. IF she was a sex addict too, then marriage made in heaven. But, as she's already pointed out, she isn't and she's been treated less than well by the very man who is supposed to love, support and treat her well.
And yes, I agree, she has choices to make. BUT SO DOES THE HUSBAND.
Wow.
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I don't think that sexuality is so simplistic as to be boiled down to a normal/deviant dichotomy. I think there are shades of normalcy. There are so many people who have one kind of particular sexual interest, or another, that I am hesitant to write them off as immediate addicts.
Without prying too much into OP's life, I would venture to guess that her husband, years ago, had her doing something that is very common, if not completely "normal", but that she didn't feel comfortable doing.
She has drawn her boundary lines about it, and he's stopped asking, from what I can tell. However, she hasn't forgiven him for this episode that happened ~9 years ago. Apparently, this is all coming up again due to recent sessions with a T, I assume. That's good, and means that she's working through this issue for herself.
Additionally, her H. is now trying to stop his porn habit. I don't know why he's doing that, but it may or may not be something he's trying to do FOR HER. Clearly he enjoys this habit of his, so there must be some external motivation for him to stop. He's not here to answer for himself, though, so there is little point in my further speculation.
Thirdly, the man wants daily sex. I don't think that is unusual at all. Lots of men want daily sex. Even some women want daily sex. I don't think that his asking for daily sex for two weeks is "undue pressure". It would be undue pressure if she said no, and he persisted anyway.