I am giving up on life and on being happy. I can't take all the stress anymore and all the heartbreak, confusion, anger, depression, mixed emotions all around me and I HATE IT! I hate everything lately. I hate my fiancee for making me love him no matter what he does to make me mad or hurt me. I hate myself for caring about everyone else before me. I hate life because it is too hard to live. I hate all of my exes for being abusive and controlling and manipulative and not respecting me when I said no. I hate people who won't get out of my head and quit visiting my dreams and hallucinations. I want it all to stop. So I surrender. Throwing in the towel. I'm going to continue to self medicate and continue to **** my life up because that is all I'm good at anyway.