I was really resistant to taking meds even with starting in my new center.

My previous pdoc did not work with me, constantly threaten hospitalization and cycled me through ever MS except lithium and lamictal. She always disregarded my wishes and the meds made everything dangerously worse. I left as Mood Disorder-NOS, ED-NOS, feeling like she had no idea what was wrong with me and there was no hope.

I went to my current center specifically asking for no meds. Intake is required to set up appointments with a pdoc and T. So I went in knowing I would ask for the only meds that seemed to help. I walked in and was told "No, he refuses to do that" right away. He gave me med options I said No. We sat there talking about random none MH things. I walked out completely trusting him with a prescription of lamictal.

Things that make me non-compliant

1. Trust
2. Mixed states or mania
3. paranoia
4. Meds requiring more than 1x a day
5. Meds that are not weight neutral
6. ADs make me mixed
7. pill amount
8. perceived or actual side effects
9. time of day needed
10. refusal to eat or drink anything
11. stability has made things worse in it's own way
12. feeling like a worse parent stable
13. not understand small mood changes
14. cost of meds
15. feeling better off w/o meds