I take my meds because my life was a lot crappier before I was diagnosed and got on medication.

Of course my old pdoc was trying to get me off all meds and I was on 200 mg of Seroquel and barely managing to get by. My new pdoc wants me to have the life I want. And it means changing meds.

I don't think I could go off medication and be happy. But then I've never the kind of mania that people say they miss and I'm more prone to depressions so being on meds means I actually have energy to do things and don't think about killing myself constantly. I don't feel like the meds dull my senses , it's the opposite for me.

I'm fat because of the medication, it's true but I was okay with my body until I hit a size 20. I don't think I could handle going up more, so my pdoc is working with me. But I'm also finally realizing that it might help if I exercise and eat right.

Also based on my own personal history and how often I thought about killing myself growing up I'm pretty sure that if I was off meds I'd be suicidal and eventually I'd act on it. Even though I know what that would do to my family. And I don't want to go back to thinking about killing myself all the time and I don't want act on it.