So a couple more things.

You are on a mental health support and discussion site, and that might very well mean that you have some issues and are in therapy. I think you need to show the post to the therapist then. What I notice here:

- you have a tendency to take responsibility and feel guilty for things that are very, very far out of the domain of your control and influence. I think most of us on here have the same tendency, I definitely do, but you really show an extreme example of this tendency. He 1) lost his job and 2) appropriated somebody's money. You were neither his boss nor employer so you definitely did not cause the loss of job. Nor did you hold him hostage in your house, preventing him from reporting to work. Right? You clearly did not in any way cause or provoke his act of appropriation of somebody else's money. Yet, you think that you did something wrong. And even that thought you take to its extreme: your language is "TOTALLY ruin it". That is extreme language. So the T needs to see that.

- you also view behavior that is very common, very human, and mostly inconsequential as a mistake. OK, you guys decided to take it slow yet slept together many times. Has it been the only instance of your planning one thing yet doing another? If that is indeed the case, can you please share your helpful tips and secrets with others here so we can all be enlightened and empowered and go on to living better lives, knowing how to always stick to our plans? I personally made a New Year resolution to swim every day, and it is already March and I still have not been to the swimming pool. Can you please help me with this issue of mine?