Yes tinyrabbit "messed about" is exactly how I feel. I've been trying to reconcile the fact that he told me that he could handle my honesty. When it came down to it not only couldn't he handle my honesty, but he turned it around and made me feel bad about having done what he asked, which was to be honest with him about my thoughts and feelings. That's been one of the most painful things in all this. He could have said he didn't want to continue our relationship. He knows me inside out and he chose the most dehumanizing way he could think of to end things; a way guarantee to inflict the maximum pain without him needing to assume any responsibility for his actions.
You're comment is especially helpful because I've been trying to sort what part of all of this had to do with our D/s dynamic versus what was really a result of emotional manipulation on his part and attendant increasing feelings of guilt and inadequacy on my part.
|