Sorry you're having a rough time. Sounds like you could maybe use a release? Do you like to do anything "creative?" I often find myself scribbling all my crazy thoughts onto pages & pages. Started doing this to keep from doing other maladaptive behaviors. Sometimes when I'm all done I feel better- drained of all the crazy thoughts & able to relax. Or maybe you have some dishes you don't like much? Put them in a bag, go outside & smash them. Or just take a hot shower & cry.

Keep your chin up. Hope you get to feeling better.