Have you told or talked to him about what you find pleasurable? Obviously his behavior is a big turn off to you, but during the act, have you told him what you like? For my relationship, she liked foreplay. Touching, kissing and such before. She also enjoyed oral and finger play. I don't know you or what you like and I'm not asking you to share, but does he know what you like?

I think sex should be about intimacy and connection between two people. There should be give and take in my opinion. I know I wouldn't feel very good, if my partner just wanted a sex organ and didn't make me part of it.

Being a husband, I can tell you we are dense and it takes us forever to learn. My only suggestion is to try and talk to him and tell him the way he treats you makes you not want sex. He should do X instead of Y because that makes you want to have sex with him. When he does Y it is a turnoff and you don't want to have sex.

For example, you can say I don't want to have sex when you grope me. I would rather have you hug me and kiss me on the neck or whisper sweet things in my ear. (or whatever it is that turn you on). That is my though.

For me my wife hates when I ask for sex. She would rather me tell her we are having sex now. Neither one of those worked out for us. I want to know she wants it, and I feel like a jerk if I say lets go have sex because I want to. I settles on hugging and kissing her on the neck, and then I rub the small of her back. She finds that pleasurable, it is a sensitive part of her body. Then if she doesn't push me away or say no, hands wander and things happen. You have to find a way to communicate that works for both of you.