Hamster -
This is interesting to me, b/c I tended to think this way too. He's not out raping and pillaging, so what harm is it if he spends 4 or 5 hours every on the internet watching porn?

On the one hand, if I don't want a relationship with him, then I wouldn't care what he did. I'd be happy that he was leaving me alone and was finding his satisfaction elsewhere.

On the other hand, porn is by definition fantasy, and fantasy is much neater/cleaner than reality. By living in this fantasy world, he is not part of my world. There is no connection between us, in part b/c we don't spend any time together (he's holed up in his room watching porn all night). Without this connection, I'm not inclined to reach over the huge porn barrier to find his true self, which hinders the intimacy even more.

Saying that he wants to substitute me for the porn sounds and seems like a very good thing. It just doesn't feel that way to me. It feels like another manipulation to get me to do what he wants: have sex every day. Not make love, mind you. Just sex.

And you're definitely right that I'm confused and conflicted!

Thanks for the helpful insight!
Bub