This is the Moose I always envision, the one who loves cuddle time with those beautiful kids.
Don't allow the hate to have an affect on you! Get the pills under control. The prescription is enough, I am sure. The doctors know what you need. If you need an extra dose of something for sleep try melatonin or benadryl.
Focus on those three beautiful kids, Moose. Make good choices for them.
Many hugs,
Bluemountains