Sorry for taking so long to answer, I'm feeling particularly low on energy and I've had some stuff to deal with lately. "Stuff", being mostly "mom".
Thank you so much for all of the replies!
I read them as soon as they popped in, and they really brightened my day.
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Originally Posted by Innerzone
Welcome AndreC!
I was just about to get off the computer and try to sleep when I saw your post thusfar unanswered, so staying up a bit later it was!
In answer to your question "How do bipolar people cope with this?" Heh. Well, I've been dealing with it for longer than you've been alive, and still, the only answer I've really managed to come up with is: Sometimes better, sometimes worse. |
I was hoping you would say "it gets better".
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Originally Posted by Innerzone
I'm really impressed that you've been able to do so well in regards to your BPD.
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Thank you!
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Originally Posted by Innerzone
I have heard that it can really be hard. Someone very dear to me has with these behaviors, coupled with no insight at all. It's painful to stand helplessly by, seeing so clearly what is happening and knowing how much pain he could save himself if he could only understand to even begin to be able to work on it. If it is ok to ask, how did you get a handle on it? How did you come to see what was going on? Did you figure it out by reading? Did someone say something? How was their approach received, and if the answer is, "not well", how would you rather they have approached it? What drove your motivation?
(Seeing how it's 6am, might be time for me to wrap it up, seeing how I've grilled you with so many questions.  Oh. Right. And sleep. Should get some of that...) |
It really is hard, it still is even though I have good control over my overt behavior. Having BPD is harrowing and confusing, you easily end up losing all contact with yourself (whatever
that is) and your social surroundings (or lack thereof). The emotional side of it resembles BD in many ways, and is much more difficult to control. I still feel empty inside, especially when I'm alone, and I often jump to the conclusion that nobody loves me, even though I should know better. Emotions are disproportionate to what's actually going on - I feel most empty inside when people tell me they love me or try to hug me, and I can get extremely angry from small annoyances. I have learned that I need to contain these feelings, and that makes it all more manageable.
For better and worse, it helped to have friends who always pointed out my flaws and told me how I needed to change. I'm glad I don't have those friends anymore, but it was an eye-opener. I'm very attuned to how other people perceive me in social situations, and that inhibits me but it also helps me bridge the gap between how I see things and how other people see things. When the world becomes too difficult I simply stay at home or hang out with people I know very well without talking about any of the touchy subjects. My friends now are much more understanding, they don't tell me how I should be or what I should do (mostly), and that makes living with BPD a lot simpler. I can't stay sane without good friends. I try to be honest with them about my diagnosis so that they can understand me better, but many things, like my suicidal thoughts and the extreme anger I sometimes feel are not things I think they need to know. I don't have to tell my friends when I feel like punching them in the face, and it won't make it easier for them to understand me if I tell them that I wish I were dead.
Or that I sometimes wish everyone else were dead too. I guess my main motivation has been wanting to feel loved, like it almost always is for BPD patients.
Also, music really helps me when I feel empty.