Greetings everyone. Sorry in advance, this may be quite long as I'd prefer not to hold things back in this situation. I am a 24 year old male, never officially diagnosed with anything despite always knowing something was wrong. For most of my life I have been able to deal with things on my own, until this past week where everything happened at once. Going back to when I was 18, first. I was in a relationship that was unhealthy while going to college. I'll skip most of the details, but about a year into the relationship she was raped and got pregnant from it. I decided to stay with her when she said she was going to keep the child. Things actually worked out alright for another year after that, until she cheated on me with her step-father. I would say this "started" my depression, and I dropped out of college shortly after. A year later, when I was 21, I met someone else that I really enjoyed being with. We would be together for 3 years (up until last week). The breakup was over her needing time to get her life together and fix herself, but she decided that things would be better for her if we didn't talk again. This left me devastated, but I knew it would be best for both of us in the long run. The next day, I got a call-back for a job interview (I have had issues with this as well. I've always been a shy person and I have never had any goals or dreams). I was a wreck during it, and the interviewers let me know that I didn't do well. Nevertheless, I got the job. Unfortunately for me, the part time job I was offered has me follow a full-time employee's schedule while I learn. The job has VERY good benefits and starting pay. But is also very labor intensive. My body isn't in good shape because of past injuries and not working out due to depression keeping me indoors. I also have to get up at 4am for it. This effectively cuts out the little social life I had (playing online games with friends I knew from online games). My family actually had a celebration, which hurt me very much because I know I am not mentally ready for the job. A job was a big step up for me since I have always regretted dropping out of college. It's always been a huge issue for me. Cut to yesterday, my first day of work, and my father has to be taken to the hospital for chest pains. I've always had a good poker face and joked around a lot even when feeling depressed, so my family doesn't really understand my situation. I also don't have any friends left unfortunately, so there is nobody I can talk to. I can't imagine finding friends or a new relationship going well when I am busy from 4am-10pm. I guess I'm stuck right now. My family was happy when I got the job, and it's a job I need for insurance. If I quit, I would be letting them down pretty hard since they don't understand. If I stay, I will lose my social life (what little there may be) and possibly not recover. The hours also make it difficult to schedule appointments. It's hard with nobody left to talk to