Idk. Okay I guess. I'm still very confused as to what the right decision is. She admitted that in hindsight, I was doing work last session. She also said that she's decided not to compare me to other people/clients anymore because it's not fair to me and just doesn't really matter to our therapy.

She said that she didn't really understand my letter. She doesn't know what specifically she can do to be more supportive. And I backed down on that a bit because I really didn't know what to say other than wanting her to love me.

She also pointed out how my letter didn't address my tendency to withhold information which can also negatively impact our relationship and her trust in me. This was pretty striking for me because I've always just seen it as necessary for preservation.

She said that if I truly didn't feel comfortable enough to be honest with her than maybe I should find another T. She doesn't think it would be wasting the 2.5 years we worked together.

I think I will interview some other Ts over the summer, but for now we have another appointment next week.