Hey welcome to PC. You're def *not* alone. I've haven't SIed in a couple of months now but ofc I still get urges every once in a while that make me go crazy and wish that I had never stopped in the first place. It's scary to let go of something that's helped me before (even though it was in the worst way possible). Letting go is always scary, especially if it's been 10 yrs for you. Deep down you probably know that you need to stop. Take it slowly. Things like stopping don't happen overnight.

- AJ