I am my worst enemy, I hold myself to high expectations and I do not accept failure very well. I do not let people into how I "really feel". I go to counseling but I feel that my counselor gets frustrated with me. I don't see myself as others see me. I have no idea what to do next with my life, I graduate with my second bachelors degree in May but have no confidence in myself to excel as a professional. I have to do field placement in the fall, it scares me to the core. I was a youth pastor for six years, I was really good at it but I allowed my bosses to step all over me and second guess every aspect of my job. I resigned from my last church in Fall of 2010, I needed a break. Do I want to continue my career as a youth pastor or do I want to pursue a career in social work? Both I am more than skilled to do, it is just the matter of having the confidence in myself to do it. Do I want to continue on to get my Master's Degree? Part of me wants to do it just to prove to everyone that I can achieve my Master's Degree, my current professors have told me that I should go to Grad school but can I do it, am I smart enough to accomplish such a huge goal? I am on the brink of having many doors open for me, I just don't want to crash and burn. I need my GPA to be just a little bit higher and I will be eligible for scholarships and the honorary fraternity. This is all within my grasp and totally obtainable but I feel like I am going to do something to screw it up and be a failure. We are in the process of adopting 2 of our 3 foster children which is exciting and scary in the same thought, one is 10 and the other 16. Can I be a good mother to them? I apologize for my rambling....