Thanks for explaining more!

Rejection is so hard :-(. I remember all too well when I was in school the first time (a lonnnng time ago lol) and liking someone who didn't see me that way. It happened two or three times and it was horrible every time. I was profoundly depressed at the same time, as well, which made everything a hundred times worse. Truly awful times and I'm grateful I didn't act on my suicidal impulses. (That was before the days of good, relatively stigma-free medication, too--mid 1980's, and in Germany.)

It's terribly difficult in the USA to support oneself while studying and all the worse if you get married during that time. Is that also the case in India? That is a very good reason to wait, although I'm sure it doesn't feel good at all. Happily, as a male, you don't have the pressure of a ticking biological clock to worry about.

I'm sure you see that the rational thing is to focus on your studies and building at least the beginnings of a viable career. Of course, feelings are not rational :-).

Here's the thing: I think I hear you saying that you are obsessing about these two things and feeling stuck, unable to get out of the rut, as it were. Am I correct? This is something that might indicate that it's a good idea to see a psychiatrist or therapist, to find ways to get yourself out of the rut (a deeply engrained track in a road, is the meaning of the word here--just realized it's one of those words with several meanings!) that you would not think of on your own.

It is also possible that this is a sign that your brain chemistry is shifted/altered in a way that might benefit from medication. Thankfully we now have many options for better living through chemistry, as it were. I've had to change my medication regimen many times over the years, and sometimes the results are nearly miraculous. If you read my posting history here, I was all but incapacitated just a couple of months ago. Shifts in my meds got my mind flowing in more normal directions again. (I have been in psychotherapy for a very long time and am continuing with that as well.)

Student life is difficult and very much unlike the rest of life. I went back to university as an adult and am in my ninth semester of study. It's tough to balance the needs of the classroom, research, etc. with anything resembling normalcy in life. Please take good care of yourself first and foremost, so that you can complete your studies with honors and move forward proudly in your chosen path.