Thanks everyone for your posts.

I tried not to talk to this friend very much yesterday. He's one of those that doesn't really "believe" in any kinds of mental illness and our conversation on Thursday just REALLY got into my head. To HIM, the issues I'm dealing with are completely controllable, and I'm simply not trying hard enough. So he got me thinking "What if I AM just a fraud? What if I CAN control my thoughts and feelings, but I'm just choosing not to?

Yesterday just wasn't a good day for me all around and it might have ended with a breakdown after I got home from work. I'm just tired. And sometimes I feel like I just can't do this anymore. Why would I? Sometimes I just want to think "What's the point, really?" But can I control that thought? Can I make it go away? Did I WANT that thought, so that's why I had it?

Ugh... I just don't know anymore.

Sorry... for the vent.