So a few more points.

I do not know anything about counting OCD but if it makes her crazy she should it to the T she is seeing. If something makes you crazy and you seeing a T, you should seek help for that. I do understand when people do not report really weird ideas. Or, do not report suicidal ideation for fear of being confined. Or, do not report behaviors thath they consider shameful. Those are understandable reasons. Wrong, but understandable.

Counting OCD seems like a totally neutral bug in the brain. You cannot be confined for having it and there are no value judgments that our society associates with it. So, why not report it?

To me it seems that the pattern of her thoughts is a little weird if she has not told anybody about it. There is too little information, but just based on that, seems weird. If she indeed is so illogical, your attempts to get through to her using your. Arguments based on reason and stats (yes, your total partner count is probably way below average based on age and your sex frequency is probably average) may prove futile.

Typing on the phone, so excuse the typos and word omissions.

While I know nothing about the counting OCD, I know a few things about depression.

Hypersomnia is one of the symptoms of depression, although it is not necessarily present. So ok, her sleeping until noon is consistent with the depression dx.

Depression is a state of low energy and low or absent motivation. Depressed people often cannot find enough strength and persistence to take a shower.

When I try to picture the effort and resourcefulness your wife must have exhibited. When she needed to find an SA group and an addictions specialist (who pays for that person's services?) And attend regularly and attack you daily with her accusations