You aren't the only ones by a long shot! Take a look at Ignatious Loyola (back hundreds of years ago) who is responsible for the Spiritual Exercises he wrote about
his own personal life and how he managed to finally understand what it was all about. (They're published on the internet for your use if you want to see how he
responded to the very things you're talking about.)

Essentially, he recognized two forces in touch with everyone, and the only solution for Loyola was the consolation of God's working within him ; otherwise, he felt he'd crumble into desperation. (That's not very well expressed, I must say.) But it's a start for trying to fight the fear of death and the knowledge that spiritual life holds for us all if we want it.

He has influenced me greatly in my thinking over the last several years. You see, I'm
old and facing the very things you fear, but I have His consolation.