Although depression seems to run in families, it doesn't mean that you are doomed to suffer the same fate. There are different types of emotional illness, and many of them have a depressive component to them. Going to a therapist might help you sort your feelings out.

That is pretty bold and also inappropriate for your roomate to be engaged in sexual intercourse with you in the room. Eventually, you will find someone who is right for you.

You are one up on me! I wouldn't have the guts to read anthing on stage in front of people I don't know, or even people I knew somewhat. You may have felt flustered and embarrassed, but you were able to push past that and read to others despite your discomfort.

Its great that you have friends. An awful lot of people just don't know what to do when they are confronted by depression. Your friends may have been at a loss as to what they should say or do. Our society is still uncomfortable dealing with another person who is depressed. I liken that to someone in a wheel chair or on oxygen that they have to carry around. Obviously people notice, but no one wants to ask what is wrong or talk about it. We are taught as children not to stare or ask people why they are in the wheel chair. Instead, we feel that acknowledging the disability is rude and we don't want to make the person uncomfortable by asking. We are also taught to stay away from people who are acting "funny". While that may be good advice for a child for safety reasons, as adults reaching out to a friend who is in emotional pain is what we should do.

As you do have friends, they might be receptive to your asking if they would come home with you and just sit with you and talk. That opens the door for them, tells them what you need and doesn't make them feel like they are infringing on your privacy.

If you are not already in therapy, it would be a good idea. If nothing else, it might make you feel better to talk about things that are bothering you, sort through those things and help you come up with a plan to deal with them.

Sam2