rofl Hamster...epic quadruple post? I would suggest, respectfully, that we let the "mess around" phrasing go...lol go read some of my older posts in the sexual and gender issues forum. It took me forever and a day to get comfortable enough to not beat the ever loving (your word here) out of the proverbial bush. Idontknowme sounds a lot like my old posting habits, in that she makes heavy use of euphemisms. No harm there, right?

Anyway Idon'tknowme, I do understand that there's a certain amount of thrill in what you're doing...I don't fault you for that. That's quite the reason why there IS such a thing called sex addiction...the sex, I think, is secondary. The primary motivating factor is, as I see it, the thrill of the hunt, in a way. Now granted, that's me going off my gut...I'm sure there's statistics out there that can ruin my argument. Either way, I feel like that's your motivation. Am I incorrect in that, do you think?

However, I'd beg you to try to reconsider what you're doing...I know, easier said than done, especially with something that's considered an addiction. But consider what would happen if your husband found out...it would ruin him. It's not fair to him...either you owe it to him to try to cut this out, or you need to amicably separate so you may pursue these things. And what of your daughter? She's young, so it's not a concern now, but what would happen to your relationship if she found out at, say, my age (19)? It would put an incredible strain on your relationship with her. I don't want that for you.

I would recommend a therapist for the root cause of the issue, but something you can do now is help improve your sex life with your husband. lol You tack on the statement that he's lousy in bed, but that's a significant motivating factor there. He can't learn if he's not taught, you know? Teach him what pleases you...help him help you, so to speak. If he's satisfying you, it would be much easier to move away from these sorts of things.

I hope I was of some help...please know you're in my prayers, and I wish you all the best.

Hugs,
Harley