It sounds like more than "a few problems." It sounds like you have been very hurt. People can forgive and go on to put a thing in the past to where it becomes nearly forgotten. You sound very forgiving. I think you would be willing to "forget," if you felt you could now trust him. You just do not trust him. I don't believe I would, either.

I'm a little confused. If the wanting to go to hotels and the posting on Craig's list came after the marriage, then I would expect you to have lost most of your trust in him.

A man who's building a life with a woman he loves doesn't have money to waste on hotel rooms and buying sexual favors. A man who does is a guy who is going to be a drain on you for the rest of your life. You might want to analyze his financial habits, as well as his sexual habits. He sounds extremely immature, at best.

I've known a few women who got cheated on and left their marriages for that reason. The two that I knew best went on to find men who were much better for them. You have a right to leave this marriage, if it is causing you more hurt than you are willing to accept.

I also know a woman who stayed in a marriage, even after being cheated on. Today, it is a very good marriage and she is happy. So I'm not saying that cheating is always the end of a marriage. It depends. You won't ever totally forget and you don't need to. You only need to forgive. That can only happen if he convinces you that he is truly sorry and won't behave like that anymore. If you can't seem to feel convinced, maybe you need to listen to that little inner voice.

If you have a bipolar disorder, then it is a permanent emotional challenge that you face. A person with bipolar disorder needs an extra good marriage. If yours is not that, it might make managing your depression a lot harder. Sounds like it has. I'm sorry you are going through this.