Hi "Lost" ~ I know this must be hard for you -- especially the way you were raised.

But I think in order to keep things together, you need to see a therapist by yourself. In therapy, he can help you learn how to express yourself WITHOUT FEAR. I think fear is what is behind your inability to express your emotions, since you were told NOT to express them. Or at least that was implied by your parents. Evidently, you feel it is something that STRONG people don't do, and that couldn't be further from the truth. Strong men, providers, fathers, CEO's of companies, etc., ALL can express their emotions and even cry! In fact I personally feel a man is MORE MACHO if he can cry and express all his emotions. I think it shows that he's NOT afraid to lose his manhood by crying and opening up.

Your wife needs to "know" you on ALL levels and that includes emotionally too. Right now, she doesn't even know you. She only sees what's on the surface, and in a marriage that just isn't enough. When 2 people "partner" up in a marriage, they TRY to become as one -- they share everything hopefully, and that includes their emotions. When that is lacking, the marriage becomes COLD. It doesn't matter if you have sex or not -- that is just an ACT. If you can't share the emotional part of life, then everything is COLD.

So you need to see a therapist and learn how to open up to your wife so she CAN get to know you. Once you begin to open up, it will be like you just got married -- a new beginning! I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee