This is probably a perfect example of me not being as articulate as I might think I am being.

As background, the actual conversation was revolving around a manic episode I had about 6 years ago. I was unemployed at the time, having just been fired, and having JUST signed the lease to an apartment that I could have barely afforded even WITH the salary of that job. Anyway, I'll spare you details, but essentially a massive... and I mean MASSIVE credit card debt was accrued.

What I was trying to explain to him was that at the time I didn't... or rather, I simply COULDN'T think that what I was doing was being a detriment. Actually, at the time I thought I was seriously doing nothing wrong. I was going to land a new job soon, a better one, or I was going to make thousands of dollars a month being a freelance graphic designer. I honestly 100% believed that at the time. And I simply could NOT explain to my friend how THAT thought process worked. I know now those thoughts were irrational and delusional. At the time I didn't think that way. I couldn't.

Calling it the "thought process of biploar", that's not really what I meant. More, what goes through my mind when I'm in THAT frame of mind. I'm just dumb sometimes and have communication issues.