I do all those social things and really try hard, but I just don't have enough in common with people for them to feel kindred, it seems. They find others more similar to themselves than I am. I'm nothing special to them. But I try hard and learn slowly and painfully, trying to get better at being with people. I don't fit. It's difficult. Laughable. And I'm 50, smart, a good learner, but not about people.

I was alone for 15 years, almost totally alone. Then I met my husband-to-be online, in a place a bit like this one. My soul mate. Doesn't fix everything, doesn't give me a purpose in the world, but I am never lonely.