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Oh not dumb at all, Nessa213! Now I get it!
I've never tried to explain that sort of thing to anyone but my therapist and psychiatrist precisely because (as seemed to occur in your case) I don't think they'd understand, and may well misjudge me. I recently ran into some people I was around a couple of times during a manic episode I had a few months ago (the first I'd had in a couple of years) and I was so ashamed. I'm not that close to them, but even if I were I can't imagine trying to explain it to them. They're lovely people, actually, but it's just not going to happen. In fact, they, like me, work in healthcare and as I think BipolarNurse has said, you'd think health care professionals would be more understanding, but in fact... no.
I've done the credit card thing, I hear you. For me, in a way i feel like I'm super high on coke or crack or something (and with the accompanying shame and fuzzy memory after the fact), I'm a completely different person. Sometimes I think it would be easier for people to understand if I said I was drunk or high or something. Not 'approve' of course, but maybe get it better.
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