I can't find it now, but I recently read an article about what the author called the "magical illusion" of adults with traumatic childhoods. The idea that one day one's parents will become the loving, nurturing parents you've always longed for.

I still have this view. The majority of my parents' issues were substance abuse related and I really do think if they would get their acts together they could be good parents. At the same time, the odds of that happening are very slim. It hasn't happened in the twenty-two years since I was born, so I doubt it will ever happen. I kind of imagine the positive traits they do have, just expressed all the time.

Yet even as I intellectually realize the odds of them having a major transformation are about zero, emotionally I still hold hope that one day they will change and all will be well. It's an unsettling issue, but the upside of thinking about this is I know what to talk about with my therapist this week.