I can relate to so much of what you say about bitterness, neglect, and feeling defeated. Not enjoying or having fun, faking it but never making it. I don't know how I go on day after day. And anger. And it is so great to be able to choose not to engage with the anger sometimes, as Open Eyes described.

I'm really sorry you were bullied. That never happened to me, I guess because I was bigger and stronger than most. My husband was bullied, though. It took years of encouragement by me to get beyond it I absolutely hate abusive bosses and work cliques. People!

I have no solutions. But I sympathize/empathize.