Although the pharmacy is on my way home from work, I decided not to stop last night so that I would have a reason to get up and get out today. I have absolutely nothing to do and nobody to do it with on the weekends, so they are very hard. Well, that wasn't enough to get me out of bed. I stayed there till 4:30 and got to the pharmacy at 5:15. They closed at 5:00. Now I have only one ambien left and I'm trying not to use it tonight so that I can sleep on Sunday night, before work. I'm afraid to go to bed for fear of lying there and having nothing to think about except how pitiful and lonely my life is. I feel like crap. The usual, really. I haven't felt any happiness in four years. I feel like I will never be happy again, nothing will ever get better and I will be stuck like this for the rest of my life. I don't give a s*** about myself and no one else does, either. I hate that this sounds like self-pity. I'm going to try to go to bed now because it's almost 2 AM. (After all, I've been up for 9 hours now!)