Dear T,

I tried to have a sexual fantasy about you, the same one I have about all male authority figures, and I couldn't. It was like I was blocked from imagining it. And now I don't seem to want to have this fantasy any more, which is good as it wasn't very healthy. I may have to concede that my interest in certain things does indeed stem from my background, however much I claim otherwise. I really wish I could talk to you about this, and about something specific that happened to me, but no way can I because you might not understand and you might imagine me doing stuff and that would be mortifying.