I don't mean to tell you this but I think it's something you need to think about. I don't believe it's your friends that need to play I bigger role, I think it's you. A lot of people are in the same place as you and I guess I'm one of them. We're so filled with hate for who we are that our self-worth comes from others. We depend on other people for our happiness and that isn't always an easy thing to do, actually it never is.
I know it's hard, but you need to give yourself what others don't, be the love you wish to have. Because you're the only person you know won't abandon you and you need to have faith in yourself.
I hate to see you in such a bad state of mind, I hate to see anyone like that really. And I wish I could make it easier on you, just wish away the pain. But we all know I can't do that, you're the only person who can make this easier on yourself and I hope that you'll see that one day.
Good luck, you're in my thoughts and I'm hoping the best for you. Truly I am .