my method to escape "this cold world" which included emotional pain, etc. was to numb myself from life thru addiction. i sought help because i knew i was not really living. i needed to learn coping skills, etc. my method was seeing a therapist.
but if you are not in enough pain nor wish to change you will get what you get. it's up to you.
i do believe your posting tho is a cry for help, imho.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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