Thanks you all, Im feeling much better, amazing what hearing you're not alone can do for someone.

RJ, I appreciate that you took time to say hi and all that you said. I didnt mean to make anyone feel self conscious about not replying to me, I guess I was just feeling lonely and not understood.

Im sorry you feel like that too shattered. No one should ever feel like their not even human. You're human to me.

henrydavid, it sucks that you've worked hard to become the best you can be and you still feel like this too. If society wants us to be become all these things I think it darn well ought to support us and not leave us standing here choking on the accomplishments it wanted us to achieve. We need more than material success imo. We're human. We need love, acceptance, support. We're only halfway there by gaining material success and no material things can replace the need we have to feel connected to other people. You can have a million dollars and all the phony attachments that go with a successful life but without love, and someone to share it with, what good is any of it? Im not saying I would rather be penniless, that is almost certain depression, but having followed the plan and gotten to the place we're told is 'success' and being alone regardless, just isnt how it should be imho. I hope we all find our way to the good life we're told we can have someday.