I just want to be able to "get it" and figure it out. I can relate fully to what Open Eyes and Pachyderm are saying, but it feels like I am in the same place when it comes to PTSD, and I have been working on it for a long time with countless therapists (Praise God I have a GREAT one right now). I wish I could even put into words what I am trying to say. I just ramble on and on not making any sense at all. I'll stop.